three quarters :: 3/4

Hard to believe that I am already 30 weeks into this pregnancy.... three quarters of the way there. Hard to believe that in 10 weeks (give or take), we will become a family of 4...four!!!

In so many ways (though not every way) this pregnancy has been easier and gone much quicker than with Leah. Part of it is because I am chasing Leah and I don't have time to obsess over every detail of the day and week I am on. Life just moves along at a quick pace these days... pregnancy included. That being said... I still have plenty on my mind these days regarding this sweet little man that has taken over my body and will one day call me mama, especially as I come down the homestretch.

A handful of random musings...

• I am not sure why we have had to have the hottest freaking summer on record while I am as big as a whale and chasing a toddler. Not cool, mother nature....not cool at all. (pun totally intended) I don't know if it's the extra testosterone or what...but I am a hot mess all.the.time. I have never sweat like this in my life. Some days I watch the weather forecast and it makes me want to cry. literally. I blame hormones.
• I have quickly learned that we just trade and swap one miserable symptom for another.... nobody gets out of pregnancy pain free (and if they do, I don't really want to know them). This time around.... I still have ankles and I can still wear my wedding ring.... two things that were gone months ago the first time around...but my sciatic is killing me by afternoon most days, sometimes even first thing in the morning and my varicose veins and spider veins look a bit like something out of a horror movie.
• I am not feeling near as "prepared" as I was with Leah...maybe that's the difference between the first and the second, but by this time my first go around, my nursery was nearly complete, diapers were stock piled and my hospital bag was practically packed and by the door. This time around....not so much. It's just now starting to stress me out and keep me up at night.
• Even though I have done this before, I am starting to have major anxiety over the fact that I will actually have to get him out one way or another. I try not to think about it, because last time was such an awful delivery. Good thing it was worth it or I probably wouldn't have signed up to do it again.
• He is much more active than Leah was or at least than I remember her being. He is wild most all of them time and usually it feels like he is doing karate in there. After Leah has been such a sweet, content baby...it scares me a little bit.
• I have started stressing about and researching circumcisions. Boy things and parts are all new to me and I'm not really looking forward to it. Another thing that keeps me up at night.
• In nearly every way, I can't wait to meet him and for Leah to be a big sister, but I am starting to get really emotional and reflective on how his arrival will change all of our lives. Leah is my best little pal and I love that we have oodles of one on one time together every single day. I love that Chris and I's entire existence revolves around her care, joy and happiness. As excited as I am, I am starting to mourn the end of our little family of three, all the while looking forward to the next chapter. It's such a bittersweet and overwhelming feeling.
• Everything seems status quo as of now.... no sign of bed rest or the need to be induced early, for which I am incredibly thankful (though a day or two of bed rest doesn't sound too bad most days). However, I don't know what it feels like to "go into labor" and it scares me. Add that to the list of things that keeps me up at night. 
• Most days I have to pinch myself to realize that this is my life and that I am being blessed with everything I have ever prayed for. I am humbled and emotional that I have been entrusted with not just one, but TWO sweet, precious souls to guide through their mortal existence. I feel so lucky. 
• (and I also worry and pray that I don't jack it up. yet, another thing to add to the list of things that keeps me up at night)
• It might come as no surprise that I am thankful for Tylenol PM and Unisom. A worried, achy pregnant girls best friend.
• My local grocer has now started putting out their Halloween Aisle stuff (ridiculously early, right?).... and I had to stop and catch my breath when I realized that the "season" in which everything changes is really upon us, it's next and it's coming quickly. Ever since I found out I was pregnant clear back in January.... October has seemed so far off, like several seasons away. But alas, the candy corn has arrived folks and that means I better start getting Halloween costumes going for my TWO little goblins!! 

Ready or not.... here we g.r.o.w!!